From This Day Forward | Fight Fair
Saturday, February 8th 2020
Fighting in your marriage isn’t the problem, But how you fight could be!
Fighting in your marriage isn’t the problem, But how you fight could be!
James 1:19 NLT
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters:
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
Seek to hear, not just to be heard!
…You must all be quick to listen… James 1:19
Proverbs 18:2 NLT
Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
Shut down your mouth, turn on your brain!
…You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak… James 1:19
Proverbs 21:23 NLT
Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.
Control your anger, don’t let it control you!
… You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19
Proverbs 29:11 NLT
Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.
Fighting to win in marriage is never a winning proposition!
Instead you should fight for a win in your marriage!
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. – Prov 27:15
It is better to have severe hemorrhoids than to live with a husband who is a jerk. – 2 Dave 4:2
All couples fight: Healthy couples fight clean. Unhealthy fight dirty.
Healthy work resolution. Unhealthy press for victory.
John Gottman studied marriage for 16 yrs: “Watch couple fight 5 min, determine with 91% accuracy if divorce.”
Seeking the 1—preparing for your 2! Someone w/ long-term friendships, because that means they’ve learned, in some respects, how to fight fair.
Two questions to ask: Should it be said? Should it be said now?
Some things are better to discuss in non-conflict times.
3 way’s I’m a blessing, 3 ways I can be a blessing
6 Never’s you should Never do:
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- Never call names.
- Never raise your voice.
- Never get historical.
- Never say never or always.
- Never threaten divorce.
- Never quote your pastor during a fight.
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Why do we get angry in a fight:
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- We misunderstand the other person (quick to listen)
- We feel like we aren’t being heard (Slow to speak)
- We don’t let things go (Ephesians it says, don’t let the sun go down on your anger, it gives the Devil leverage)
- Our pride/ego gets wounded (It’s not about me, it’s about us)
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