What Happens When The Kids Are Gone?
I am taking a different approach with this weeks devotional by highlighting a video that will hopefully get you thinking about your marriage, and what life will be like when your children leave your house. If you had to HONESTLY answer the question, “is the relationship with your children more important than your spouse”?, what would your response be?
Let’s say you have been married for 5 years and have a 5 year old child that’s obviously been around your entire married life. Now your child has turned 18 and is heading off to college, which means this will be the FIRST TIME you have been alone in 18 years of marriage.
What did you do in the last 18 years to prepare for the dreaded “empty nest”? Do you know the person you’ve been married to for so long by knowing their likes or dislikes, intersts, hobbies, or what you have in common without your child being in the picture? Do you start asking yourself questions like these: Where did we go wrong? When did this happen? How did it come to this? What could we have done differently?
Here’s a few suggestions that may help you turn your marriage around and begin taking the appropriate steps to stop that from happening.
- SET UP A REGULAR DATE NIGHT WITH NO KIDS OR DISTRACTIONS (A PLACE YOU BOTH CAN TALK ABOUT ANYTHING)
- DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TOGETHER AROUND THE HOUSE THAT SHOWS YOUR WILLING TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT AND YOUR DESIRE FOR QUALITY TIME TOGETHER (COOKING, CLEANING, YARDWORK, LAUNDRY,ETC.)
- DISCUSS YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER AND WHAT YOU BOTH WOULD LIKE TO DO OR SEE WHEN THE KIDS ARE GONE (TAKING TRIPS, VARIOUS HOBBIES, MOVING SOMEPLACE WARMER, ETC.)
- MAINTAIN A HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP (BE ROMANTIC)
- BE SPONTANEOUS AND SHOW EACH OTHER YOU ENJOY MAKING THEM SMILE! (BIRTHDAYS, HOLIDAYS,VACATIONS, OCCASIONAL FLOWERS OR A CARD)
- BE SELFLESS, NOT SELFISH!
The most important factor in all of this is God and making sure He is at the center of your marriage. You should do whatever it takes to serve God in your marriage by fulfilling your biblical roles as a husband or wife. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 As this scripture tells us, as a married man or woman, your responsibilities are to PLEASE your spouse and THINK about your earthly responsibilities. Think about it…..
Take a look at this video of a couple who have been married for 19 years. Notice the different things they do together, their desire to be around one another regardless of the activity, their involvement in each others interests & hobbies, how the romance is still alive almost like their “dating”.
What will happen to your marriage when your kids are gone? Click Here to see Tim & Faith after 19 years of marriage.
~Nick~
