The Essence of Fatherhood

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. – Proverbs 4:1

“If you were to boil being a father down into the essentials, what would they be?”

What would you say in answer to this question?  The question is great because everyone has there opinions about what Fatherhood is about and what type of father is the best, so there is much debate.  However, this question forces you to throw out all of the things that are peripheral and focus only at that which is essential, the Fundamentals of Fatherhood if you will.  Here’s my list:

Authentic – the worst thing a father can be is a hypocrite.  His kids see that, they know what dad is like when no one else is around.  They know his faults, even if he allows others to believe he has none.  An inauthentic dad will be an ineffective dad.

Mentor – I was tempted to put teacher down, and then I realized that it didn’t quite cover it.  I’ve known many teacher who did not practice what they preach (see above).  A mentor teaches other by their life and character.  They teach by example and one-on-one time.  If a dad refuses to mentor his children, someone else will.

Guide – A dad has the privilege of helping his children learn from his mistakes, so that they don’t have to repeat them.  A guide is one who has been on the journey before and is familiar with the terrain and territory.  A great dad draws upon his own victories and failures to guide his children into the best possible future.  A dad who neglects guiding his children is setting them up for major failure.

Priest – God calls himself “Father”, I find that very striking!  What is God’s highest goal for mankind…teaching them to bring glory to him.  A home is to be a temple, of sorts, where valuable lessons are taught about God, his nature, and his Word.  A dad who allows the church to be his child’s sole or even main source of spiritual truth is ensuring his grandchildren’s spiritual poverty.

Husband – Children want to know that they are secure.  When the relationship between a husband and a wife is unstable the children know it, and feel as if they must choose one over the other.  The greatest, most enduring gift a father can give his children is to love their mother with the deepest of passion!  A dad who is a lousy husband is dooming his children’s relational life.

Leader – Everything a child learns about leading and following is learned at home.  If a father is a bad, absent, or abusive leader his children will assume that all leaders are just like him.  This will color their view on every single person in authority over them for the rest of their life.  A dad who doesn’t lead well, has destined his children to struggle with authority.