Having Open Communication

Continuing in our Friday theme of effective communication in a marriage brings us to an important requirement and that is “openness”. The best way to get to know one another and avoid misunderstandings is to have open communication.

Some things are simply impossible and there isn’t anyone on the planet who can read someone’s mind, especially when it comes to spouses, and communicating to one another. Husbands and wives should not have to guess what each other is thinking. 1 Corinthians 2:11, Paul says, “Who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of a man, which is in him?” The only way for us to reveal our thoughts to one another is to speak to one another.

Although both the husband and wife are responsible to communicate and be open with each other, it is the husband’s responsibility, as leader of the household, to ensure that the channels of communication are continually open. If necessary, the husband must take the initiative to ensure that a spirit of openness exists in the relationship.

Last week I talked about developing Godly habits and one of those is working on open communication. One important detail in open communication is listening to each other carefully. This means paying attention—no daydreaming but making sure your attention is on your spouse. Husbands and wives should not give the impression that what the other has to say is unimportant or stupid. It also means asking questions. If a spouse does not understand what has been said they should ask questions until the other’s thought is fully understood. If one is married to a person who is very quiet and not naturally open, one should gently ask questions to prompt the conversation.

Another important detail in open communication is making sure you mean what you say, and say what you mean, be clear! Husbands and wives must avoid being misunderstood in the communication by being vague and indirect. Which means no beating around the bush, above everything else when it comes to effective communication is being clear when you speak.

Miscommunication is a big cause for marital problems because they can lead to anger, resentment and arguments over issues that really are meaningless. When couples are not open and honest with each other, minor problems stew and more often than not, end up in unwarranted blowups over the smallest things. Unresolved issues pile up in the marriage relationship until the problems reach a point that seems unmanageable.

The principle of open communication is really simple, but is the most common problem in this day of marriage. It’s unfortunate that so many marriages have ended in divorce because of unclear communication that allows blowups to be a part of everyday life. Husbands and wives should not be afraid to speak openly to one another, as long as they do so in a gentle, loving manner. Stop trying to read each others’ minds, which includes, trying to read in between the lines. With open communication husbands and wives will not only avoid misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments but will also get to know each other more and more as time progresses.

~Nick~