Dealing With Anger In Your Marriage
At some point, everyone gets angry at their spouse. It could be over something minor like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste, something on a larger scale like their disrespecting you in front of other people, or something much worse.
In marriage, the potential for anger is much greater than the majority of other relationships simply because of the close proximity we have to someone so often. Trust me, your husband or wife will eventually do something that gets on your nerves.
The important thing to do when that happens is to know how to deal with those situations that are typically more frustrating but can lead to anger.
First off, know that the anger itself is not a sin…it’s what you do with it and how you respond to it that can potentially be classified as sin. For the most part, there are two ways that people deal with anger, and it’s very important to understand that God can be glorified even in times of anger.
A lot of people hold in their feelings of anger and they pretend nothing is wrong, while pushing any anger that comes back inside. While trying to avoid dealing with it, unforgiveness and bitterness tend to latch on, and unfortunately begins to poison the marriage. Holding it in and not sharing the burden as a unit doesn’t deal with the anger. Eventually it will result in a blowup or slowly killing the relationship.
There are some people who can’t hold it in and their natural reaction is to let it out. They don’t care who their anger affects, that includes their spouse, kids, or anyone else who gets in their line of fire. They let their feelings control their reaction and hurting others, either verbally or physically, is easy for them.
As someone who has experienced an abusive step father and seen first hand how his excuse, much like a lot of other people like this, is that he “couldn’t control himself.” This is a person that’s controlled by their emotions, instead of being in control of their emotions. These people will continue to physically or verbally abuse their spouses or kids as long as they can get away with it.
Now, take that same “out of control” person and put them up next to a 300 pound linebacker. Do you think they would be able to control themselves enough to keep from being slapped around around by that linebacker? Oh yeah, because they know they couldn’t get away with that…not without some pretty hefty consequences.
We should never let our feelings of anger cause us to get “out of control.”
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)
If you’ve let your anger lead you into sin in the past, ask God to forgive you and let it go. You can’t control what you’ve done in the past, but you can control what you do now and in the future. Start preparing now for the next time you get angry, because the time will come again when you’ll need to deal with it.
The best way to overcome anything is prayer and remember what Luke 1:37 says, “For nothing is impossible with God.”
~Nick~
