Communicating Honestly

Exodus 20:16, “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor”, which means that you should be truthful when communicating.

In Ephesians 4:15, Paul says that we are to “speak the truth in love.”  John says we must express our love in actions and truth in 1 John 3:18.  “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body” (Ephesians. 4:25).  Lying destroys the trust between husband and wife.

God has designed marriage in such a way that the relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to be the most intimate relationship a person could ever have.  As you can probably guess, when you or your spouse begin telling lies or being dishonest in the things you do, the overall communication in a marriage, is clouded by doubt.

This doubt usually continues until some sort of forgiveness has taken place or the situation has been resolved with the understanding of earning that trust back.  If that doesn’t happen, the result is a complete breakdown in communication, and the only communication that takes place is small talk or only saying what you think your spouse wants to hear.  When a wife loses respect for her husband and the husband cannot depend on his wife to be a biblical helper when trust is lost and deception has taken place, this is very unfortunate, all because the marriage has lost all intimacy and is most likely to fail because of a complete breakdown in communication and no desire to to fix it.

Almost always, lying hurts the feelings of the one who is lied to.  It’s like saying, “You are unimportant. I cannot trust you to help me with this problem in my time of need, and I don’t want to be open and intimate with you.”   Lying destroys credibility and violates trust.

We have to keep in mind at all times that Christian marriage requires TOTAL honesty. If the husband and wife are working together for the same biblical goal, the want to raise godly children,  then lying doesn’t make any sense and there is no desire to do it.  Generally the person who is lying has their own separate goals and agendas.  But more often than not, lying is a sign of deeper problems.  There is a reason for these lies and it’s often used to cover someone’s tracks.

~Nick~